Gone
by Clementine17
Summary: He kissed her on Tuesday, she’s dead on Wednesday.


"She's gone," he whispers and the words are caught by the wind and swirl away from him. It shouldn't be this hard.

-

Booth has fallen in love before. Several times actually, so really the fact that he is finally admitting that he is in love now shouldn't be that difficult. They are in the woods and the sun is glinting off her hair and jewelry. She looks radiant, though he has always been aware of her beauty. _I love her_ is running through his head like a bad song that won't leave. He is frozen to the spot and all coherent thought has left his body, the only thing that remains is this single truth on repeat.

"Booth?" she asks turning around to face him, hand on her hip, lips pursed. He is back in the woods, back where she is his partner and he buries truths in layers of witty banter and avoidance.

"Yeah, I'm here," he says and follows her deeper into the woods.

-

"Angela, has Bones ever been in love?" he asks in the most off hand way he can. It comes out fast and nervous and he curses himself right after the words tumble from his mouth. Angela looks up from her sketch, eyes wide and mouth open.

"What?" he asks, deciding defensive will be his road of choice.

"Excluding now, no," Angela says, eyes locked onto his. He wants to look away, to desperately pretend this conversation isn't happening or relate it to a case or concern, anything that can make this not what it is. That's not what happens though.

"Excluding now?" he asks, voice soft and pleading. He isn't sure what he wants Angela to say and suddenly realizes that he is holding his breath.

"Excluding now," she repeats and then leaves the room.

-

He doesn't look at Angela for two weeks before finally breaking. He barges into where she is working and stands, desperately trying to control his curiosity and burning tongue.

"Yes?" Angela's asks, pretending she doesn't know exactly why he is there.

"Excluding now?" he asks, the words sounding bitter and forced.

"Booth, I'm not the one you should be having this conversation with," she says and gets up to leave.

"No, Angela…" he trails off, blocking her exit.

"Booth."

"Please," he begs and even he winces at how pathetic it sounds.

"She's never said anything to me. Not even one word. Is that what you wanted to hear?" she asks and he tries to find words to answer, but she cuts him off, "however, she is my best friend. I know her and I stand by what I said, now please move." He does and she leaves. He isn't sure how he's supposed to feel.

-

"Bones?"

"Hmm," she says between files and Chinese food.

"Never mind."

-

Parker likes her. They've met enough now that when she sees him she actually interacts with him. They talk, and granted she treats him like a fellow adult, but he's okay with that. Sometimes he watches them together and he allows his mind to wander. He sees them as a family and it makes him smile and his heart feel a bit warmer. This always ends the next time she makes a comment about marriage or children or both.

-

Booth considers himself to be a courageous man. He has served in the military, is an FBI agent, and a father. He has faced killers and killed people himself. This is why he cannot understand why Temperance Brennan scares him so much. He has adjusted to the fact that he is in love with her. This admission is old now and he no longer shies from the feelings that arise when he sees her. Yet, he can't tell her. He can't even begin to form the words or anything like that.

"You've been quiet lately," she says as they drive to a crime scene.

"No, I haven't."

"And defensive. Is something going on with you. I'm asking because it's out of character for you to be this quiet."

"Bones…"

"Yes."

"I… I just have a lot on my mind."

"Okay, take the next left," she says and turns to look out the window.

-

The man in their new case lost his business partner. He cries when he hears of her death and chokes out how close they were. Brennan remarks on how violent his reaction was.

"What?" he asks as they get back in the car.

"It just seems that he overreacted for just being her friend."

"What do you mean?" he asks, putting the car in drive. She looks startled and laughs. He glances at her in confusion, waiting for some sort of explanation.

"I'm sorry, it's just I'm not usually the one who reads people," she explains and waits for him to catch up, then exclaiming, "he was in love with her. No one is that passionate about some business associate. I mean they spent practically every second together and the friend said there was so much tension between them you could cut it with a knife."

"Yeah, you're right," he says and stares at her until they get onto the highway.

-

The direct approach is always best, so he really doesn't know why he didn't think of this sooner. He kisses her right outside the diner. It is a long and wonderful kiss and when he pulls back she looks shocked. He has never seen her look like this before and he finds that he enjoys it. His speech is long and unrehearsed, but when he begins he finds that he can't stop.

"Temperance, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since I met you. I should have told you this before, but I couldn't. I'm sorry if this is out of the blue and if you don't feel the same way, but I think you do. I'm going to let you think about this so that you don't feel pressure and have some time to fight the urge to flee as fast as possible. I'm not going anywhere, even if you decide you don't feel the same way because you are my best friend and I can't lose you. Maybe that's why I was so afraid. I will however be terribly sorry if that is the case or if I hurt you because of this. I love you."

He walks away. It's a cold Tuesday night and he smiles when he gets home.

-

He kissed her on Tuesday; she's dead on Wednesday.

-

It was a hit and run and they find her car two miles from his apartment. It's six o'clock in the morning when he gets the call. Angela identifies the body because he can't even bear to say the word "dead" in the same sentence with her name. The world is spinning, but the center, _his _center is gone so the spinning is out of control and won't stop. He is tumbled and jostled by it and can't seem to find a place to just be still. He cries when he gets home that night, long, gut-wrenching sobs that don't subside until he is aware of someone's hand in his. He doesn't know how Angela got a key and this one normal thoughts pervades through everything else and for a minute he feels normal. Then it is gone and the pressure of this new reality, this reality without her hits him full force. The sobbing starts again.

-

Her ashes follow his words on the wind as he watches what is left of her body fly away from him. His mind is filled with questions, but their answers have gone with her. "She's gone," he repeats, his new mantra. He has to keep repeating it or he's afraid he will forget. Nothing should be this hard.


End file.
